The Uncarved Blog

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We're one month through. In Leadership is a cause, not an effect, I write about my thoughts in the first month of what could be the best year of my life. Read on.

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Classic made new, like an iPod. See it: http://sirmartin.wordpress.com

Right after briefing the class presidents during lunch time, I was informed that we may encounter some scheduling conflict on July 11. It took me some shuffling and hustling before we sorted everything out, but we're now set for July 10, Thursday. The section shifts (AM or PM) will remain the same.

If you have received my letter from your class president already, please change the date from July 11 to July 10. Thank you very much!

P.S. On Thursday, we will be joining the Freshmen. Be nice.

For those who have been asking for their SS3 homework, here's my answer:

If you have two apples and two friends
Fair is giving one apple to each
Just is giving the apple in the first place

Why is that justice?
Because you have apples and they don't
And they are everything that you have got.

Bow.

Puwede ring shawarma kung ayaw mo ng apple. :)

Students from 1st to 4th year, you may get them from here.

A student once commented that she couldn't imagine me as a high school student. I responded that perhaps I still am one, considering how I act in class sometimes. She laughed knowing that to be true.

But what she means, I suppose, is that I seem to have weathered the years too well to have been a high school student at all. Sir Martin cramming, falling in love, failing, getting heartbroken, taking a long test, staying up late for requirements -- that doesn't seem right. But it is. I used to be just Martin once, and I still am.

I was reminded of this fragile truth just this afternoon as I picked up some groceries at Waltermart, Makati. Right across the street is my old grade school, Don Bosco. I felt the urge to drop by and say hi to my old teachers until I was greeted by an oncoming deluge of sweaty and overeager grade schoolers who relentlessly filled up the driveways, gates, and hallways. I decided to drop by some other time. But as I bit on my steaming hot shawarma, I could see the school through Waltermart's enormous glass windows and couldn't help but see all the changes in the school: new buildings, new paints, new iron fences, and so on. Then I wondered, what if the school could look at me? Would it see something new too?

All these thoughts were not nostalgia. I did not have my high school in Don Bosco. I left in 1996 and since then there have always been moments when I pause to wonder how things could have been if I never left. These thoughts were temptations to wish for another life which I could no longer begin, and so it's interesting to find ways to fit the endings that could never be.

Leaving Don Bosco for Ateneo was an enormous change for me. See, I was doing pretty well in Don Bosco. I was a campus leader and I've won the respect of my peers and teachers. In my last year, I became the first Student Council President and graduated fifth in the entire batch. My parents felt that the school was becoming too easy for me, but to be honest, I was having the time of my life. Then, I was thrown into Loyola Heights.

I knew no one there. Worse, no one cared where I've been or who I was. By virtue of being from a land far away, I was put in the camp opposite The Ateneans who all came from the Ateneo Grade School. I was the outsider together with all those from Other Schools. I didn't have power and fame. It would have been great if I could just rebuild myself from the ground up, but I had to play by the rules of the game. Their game. I said my first dirty word when I was in high school. Had my first crush. Did my first prank. Had my first failing grade. Slept in class. I tried to fit in and be normal, except in the ways that I already was.

It would have been better if the academics were any help, but I remember struggling so bad in first year algebra. We didn't take up integers in grade school, and so I had to be separated from my section and into a basic math class. It was also tough for me when it came to requirements. We didn't have a landline so I couldn't talk with my groupmates about assignments and reports. We didn't have a computer, so I had to handwrite all my essays as my classmates turned in beautifully typewritten work. I still remember my first year Araling Panlipunan (socsci) teacher asking me towards the end of the year if it's true that I was the only one in class still without a computer since I continued to turn in handwritten work despite her warnings. I cried.

These days, I would ask my parents whether they were aware of how tough first year was for me. They would reply that they knew that it was an adjustment time, and yet stood by their decision to remove me from Don Bosco in order to make me a "stronger person". They believed that it would all work out in the end and that the man I become will be worth all the privilege I lost in Don Bosco. These days, I still look outside mall windows and wonder.

High school turned around in second year. Since we had the same classmates for all four years, it was only during the second that I began forming bonds with my peers. I met great friends in guys like Jay-jay, Macky, Philip, Dale and JM. I also discovered that there have been guys like Jomike who have been looking out for me since day one. I remember burning the phone line talking about teachers, classes and crushes, and it was during second year that I began to see the cliche that these four years will be the best years of your life.

My academics also started turning around. Math became more bearable. By fourth year, I was performing incredibly well in subjects such as Trigonometry and Computer Science. Of course, I've had my fair share of accomplishment in the Humanities and soon enough I was the go-to guy (alongside my "rival" Buddy Ycasiano) when it came to editing English essays and writing speeches. I remember my fourth year English teacher leaving me a note. Her name is Ms. Devi Ignacio-Paez and she wrote, "I expect to read more from you in the future." Ma'am, here I am.

Yet the highlight of my high school life had to be the Tulong Dunong program when I was in fourth year. Every Tuesday, we would go out and tutor kids in a nearby public high school. I taught English for honors students and it was then that I had my first dose of lesson planning, teaching and counseling. I remember one class where my top student couldn't concentrate one bit. I was about to lose my patience when she began to cry.

Caught unaware, I stopped my lesson and instructed my other students to finish their workbooks. I asked her aside and sat with her on the floor as she narrated how her mother cries every night because of an abusive, drunkard father. I told her that her work in school is her chance to make it better for everyone she loves. Then she cried even more when she said that she can't look forward to high school because her family would rather she work than study.

I met her mother during one home visit that we did towards the end of the year. I hoped to convince her to give her daughter a chance. We went back and forth for a while until she conceded that it was only her husband who didn't want their daughter to study. I bought it. Then she asked, "Ikaw ba magiging teacher niya sa high school?"

Abigail, this is for you.

I look back at my four years in high school and feel that, no, those weren't the best four years of my life. There is still so much I feel I could have done differently better. I would have wanted to know more of my classmates and to learn more from my teachers. I could have aimed a little higher and strived a little bit more, but all those are lessons I bring with me now as I busy myself in my second lease in high school.

Moreoever, I feel that the story I continued to write in college was not a continuation of the story that began to write itself in high school. I veered off into taking up Political Science in the hopes -- my parents' hopes -- that it turns out for the better. I was on track to becoming a lawyer and wanted nothing else, until college life showed me that there is so much more that needs to be done in this world. It took a while before Ms Devi would have something to read. I didn't immediately make good on my promise to Abby that I would be a teacher and teach more kids like her. But then many more had to happen to make me the writer and the teacher I am today. That is a story for another time.

Perhaps, if Don Bosco Makati could look back at me, it would say that I too have changed. I have grown. I have become the man it hoped I would be when I entered its gray halls in 1989. Leaving Don Bosco wasn't easy and getting started in Ateneo wasn't any easier, but those days helped me stand on my feet. I was very much the high school student, perhaps just as much or even more than my current students are.

Whenever I think of what I bring to my students now, I don't for a second believe that I am offering them a vision of perfection. I understand that they see that at times. With my confident gaze, my frank demeanor, and that booming voice that banners idealism, hope and change, it doesn't surprise me that at times I can come across as the Superman. That disturbs me, and I feel that it buries me in expectations that I simply can't live up to. And yet, I walk proudly. I walk proudly because I know what I've been through and that I have learned to open my eyes, smile, and believe.

So yes, I was a high school student once. Whenever I wonder what it would be like if I stayed in Don Bosco, I tell myself that it would have been great -- that is if everything ended the way they are now.

I realize that I'm not as liberal as people seem to think. For one, I am not a big believer in the free market; in my analysis, government should always play a role in the economy. Yes, the market should run free but the government has to manage it every now and then. Oh well. I think we call that neo-liberalism so I suppose I still am liberal in that sense. I think it's just that I am more liberal in some aspects than others, but when it all comes down to it, I am most liberal when it comes to...

Religion. My current spirituality is a product of 9/11. Long story short, I began seeing the world in shades of civilizations and I couldn't, for the life of me, comprehend why people who believe in the same values fight just because they believe in religions with different figures, symbols and colors. While in one extreme there emerged people who have forsaken religion because of all the evil it inspired, I have become someone who wants to save religion from itself -- I believe that beyond the gods, symbols and formulaic prayers, all religions subscribe to the same human values that can form good societies and inspire lasting peace. Too bad the world doesn't just work that day.

I believe that there is a God, but he is not just the God of the Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews, etc. He is all of them and he is more. There is no religion with a monopoly of truth. Just imagine light refracted through a prism. All those vibrant colors are mere components of one beam of light. I believe that the God most people subscribe to are just the component colors; taking them all together will hint at the larger human experience of the divine and move us closer to that singular beam of light.

The prism that fractures light is human experience itself. Just look at the Old Testament and you will notice how God is seen differently across many accounts. He has been vengeful, angry, sublime, jealous, forgiving, fatherly and so on. Different views of God serve different purposes, but mostly they represent human emotions and aspirations magnified to infinity. Another perfect example would be Hinduism and its multitude of deities vis-a-vis the Buddha. Not going too far, see how your own understanding of God changes depending on your experience. It's amazing to see how nice God is when things are going great, but he becomes either annoyingly mischevous or handsomely wise when something goes wrong. How we see the divine is clearly dictated upon by human experience.

A lot of people label me as "Taoist" although I am not one really. It just so happens, that of all the ways of looking at the world, Taoist philosophy offers the best estimation of who or what God is and what he means to me. They call it "the Way" and it is something nameless, formless, and shapeless, and yet, it comes with its own internal logic which is, not surprisingly, no logic at all. This teaches me that it is dangerous when we label one God as "the" only one and impose the logic of that divine power over everyone else. When taken to the extreme, we have religious cults and religious terror.

And having seen that is what inspired me to practice a liberal spirituality that simply can't be called Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim or Taoist. I appreciate the sense of community inspired by both Christianity and Islam. I admire the Hindu sense of duty and the Buddhist sense of self control. Moreover, Taoism allows all these to gel together by reminding me that they don't have to gel in the first place since they are all colors branching out from one and the same light.

Conservatives challenge people such as me by saying that we tend to have loose morals and no firm anchor on what's right and wrong. I simply respond that killing is killing, stealing is stealing, and my neighbor is someone who needs me. I may not believe that there is a God who will judge me at the end of time because I believe in one who demands that I live my life now.

I love my schedule this year. I don't know why I've been praising the afternoon shift for the past three years, though I can cite two faulty premises. First is that I'm a morning person who likes to either take my morning slow or spend it playing badminton or working out. Second is that I like to wake up when I can; after all, I've done the opposite for most my life.

Both are faulty because firstly, as a morning person I should do all my work then. In addition, I really wasn't able to commit myself to the gym because I would wake up tired after coming home late from an afternoon shift. Secondly, I really am an early riser. Getting myself to wake up in time for a 7:30 class is no problem. These days, I wake up at 4:30 to 5:00 and I don't feel that I've lost sleep at all. (I start sleeping by 9pm.)

I have more responsibilities and more work this year. But I also have more experience now. My morning shift has done wonders: I am usually done teaching by 10am and I can devote the rest of my day to all my extracurricular activities. I don't mind staying in school to meet my club or my batch officers at the end of the day. The four hours after lunch is when I get to do all my "office work" such as filing papers, permits, reports, etc. I've always promised myself not to bring work home; looks like that will be a reality this year.

The freedom I have in the afternoon is unprecedented. When my plate is clear and the highways are free, I can be home by 1 o'clock. If not, it allows me to get even more work done just like this coming Friday -- I will be going to Ateneo to meet a student organization who may help me deliver on a really great project for Batch 2011. But when I'm not being all busy, I just have too much time on my hands. When my finances catch up with me, I'll hit the tennis court more regularly.

One thing I learned last year is that I should not take looking after myself lightly. I know that I tend to work too hard, and when that happens I'm not doing anyone any favors. My physical, mental and emotional performance suffers, and I can't be a better anyone at anything. This concern is foremost in my mind now. It is central, that if all my plans are to push through, that I take care of my self enough that I see it all through.

Over at my main blog, I will be writing an article on how to manage work and time, and achieve maximum results with minimum effort. In other words, I'll be writing about how to work more efficiently and effectively. For now, just some notes. I'll be refining these as I write the final piece.

I don't claim for any of these to be original. I've gathered these from all the advice and experience handed down to me. If anything, how they all fit together is something I discovered for myself. And a lot of this, I learned the hard way.

1. Set realistic goals and targets. Begin with the end in mind.
2. Preparation is key.
3. Be clear with your goals. Doing the best you can is not good enough.
4. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you're doing the right thing.
5. Set boundaries for yourself. Create spaces and times where no work should be done.
6. Set a "fun" goal. Find time for a hobby or a sport.
7. Reward yourself when you stick to your boundaries. Reward yourself more when you achieve your goals.
8. Transform co-workers into partners, and partners into stakeholders.
9. Stress is not about workload or expectations. Stress is a sign that there's something wrong with the way you work.
10. When things go wrong, it's not your fault... sometimes.

More soon, but let's see if any of the above already strike a chord.

Check it out here!

I have four hours to kill tomorrow. Great thing the mall is so near Pisay. What do you think I should watch?

Incredible Hulk (first day)
Kung Fu Panda (again!)

Hahaha. :P

There is a change in me. I've been feeling it over the past weeks. It was unconscious at first, until I realized that I've been so conscious of so many things now that in sum, I am more focused, more alert than I have ever been.

Last year, I was the wu wei guy. I took things as they came, shifted like water, and allowed myself to embrace the moment when it came. Now, I've become the type to seize the moment. I no longer take no for an answer and always work my way to yes. Yes, we can.

Lately, I've been planning ahead a lot. I've been setting a lot of goals for myself and thus far, I've hit them all. My weight has improved. I am getting more work done. I don't feel stressed even when I exert extra effort. I have so many ideas and I am able to find ways to get them done. And quite frankly, I'm just enjoying myself a lot. I used to think that by planning ahead, I only set myself up for frustration later on. But that isn't good enough for me anymore. Nothing can be more frustrating than not taking the risks we should when we can.

So what caused this change? A confluence of a lot of things, but mostly two emotionally trying events that occurred over the past year. I'll no longer go into detail but those who have followed my story know what I'm talking about. In the past year, I opened myself up to so many possibilities, but I just waited and didn't make any possibilities happen for myself. That was simply heart breaking.

Now, I would still like to believe that I'm that wu wei guy. The only difference is that I'm no longer the river, but the boatman rowing the boat. I'm no longer the surf, but the surfer; no longer Pooh, but Po. (Watch Kung Fu Panda and read The Tao of Pooh to get this!  )

I'm still riding the currents, still moving along, but I have greater control of where I'm going and how I get there. Indeed, your focus determines your reality. Mine now is rather razor sharp.

P.S. Here's a dose of awesomeness.

Just a little something for everyone to think about.

This day, one hundred and ten years ago, a flag was raised out of a window at Kawit, Cavite to mark the birth of Gen. Emilio Aguinaldo’s revolutionary government. Fast forward to today and we are all still here, waiting for our government to revolutionize our politics, our livelihood, our society, our future. Often I am asked, “What do we truly celebrate during Independence Day?” Underneath this question is the idea that after Spain we became dependent on the Americans, the Japanese, and now to all the foreigners to whom we send our overseas workers who labor and toil for a life away from their families. Therefore, we tend to ask now, “We may be independent, but are we free?”

There are so many ways to answer that question but for today, let me propose a solution by providing, first and foremost, a definition of terms. Continue reading.

I lost my iPod today. I know there are bigger more pressing issues than that but this just... stings. It stings because: (a) it's the first device I've ever lost in 25 years, (b) I lost it in the gym's locker room and there is a large chance it was swiped by somebody else since I've never lost anything at the gym (and there was someone seated on the bench I was on), and (c) music is so important to me that not having a pocket full of my favorite songs is just... suffocating. Anyway, I flipped the gym over in search for it and sought the help of the guards but... alas, none found. We asked the guy I suspected but of course he said he didn't see one and we had no grounds to search him. Oh well. iPod. iSad. T_T

The course outline was revised a bit after we determined some of the major activities for the year. In this new version, you can also see a tentative schedule of all our activities and requirements. Check it out here.

You can now read my latest article at Filipino Voices, Schola Brevis. Here is an excerpt:

School begins tomorrow; the more fortunate can afford a nine-day countdown. Soon, the news will report on even more shortages and excesses: too few classrooms, too many students. Then cue the pundits who decry politics and the academics who argue demographics. Finally, there will be the all too familiar picture of that education minister with his tail between his legs, chided by his queen for not doing enough, well enough. Often, this is the picture painted in the broadsheets and flashed on our screens. But for all they’re worth, they fail to describe the real problems to which Gian Dapul’s math teacher once said, “there is always a solution” to.

I have been invited to write here in Filipino Voices for quite some time now. I am in awe of my colleagues’ abilities to write on and on about the issues that matter to them and thus, I told Nick, I would hold off until the school year starts. As an educator, social scientist and aspiring student of public policy, I rather run my mouth on something that I not only know of, but matters to me personally. So in inviting everyone to think about the issues in Philippine education, let me start with a story.

Read the full article here!

My students from Camia, Jasmin, Ilang-Ilang and Rosal may start going through my course policies and syllabus available at socscidos. Thank you! :)